What is happening to me? Weeks before turning twenty-seven I lost my job and now my savings are about to reach its final cents.

I say this is one of the hardest phases of my life. I, a 27 years old, single, jobless and stretching all the limits of my dwindling savings. I’ve been looking at job posting sites trying to look for vacancies sadly there is none that fits my job description/qualification and yes, asking salary. I’ve sent applications for oversees job vacancies and so far one has replied, and it’s a bad news, the others still no updates.

So what do I do now, I’ve been idle for two months. I am in a state of panic, my savings will not last long and I cannot accept that. Kidding aside, I really am in a panic, two months without an income is a really long time for me. Should I lower down my standards? Or better wait for what the future will bring?

A year ago, when I decided to join my friends in establishing a small company, my goals were set hard as stone. There is nothing to lose, but maybe something more to gain but things went rough at some point and we decided to stop for now.

I think we all thought this is not actually the right time (though we actually thought we are good enough, that we are strong enough to collide with the big names in the industry) some have their own priorities some are thinking of walking a different path, I myself is not satisfied. There is something missing, I am not satisfied, so when one accept a job offer somewhere, I thought that’s a sign to drop everything.

But that was two freaking months ago, summer has ended, a new school year has begun, I’ve been to different places this summer skinny dipping, pigging out, partying at every event, socializing with long lost high school friends, spend so much time with my family etc. is there something else that I didn’t do? Or is God preparing something for me? I hope so.

And this blog post is just one of my rants, one hot June evening, where the internet connection is so slow I can’t buffer the Korean Drama I’m currently addicted. Ciao!

There was a post I read a few months ago, it says something about “30 Things Every Women Should Know/Have by the Time She Turns 30”. Reading it, I was like “Oh My Gee! I’m not even half of what the writer wrote. What exactly did I learn this past twenty-seven years of my life?" I am freaking out, and surely some of you feel the same way.

Twenties, thirties, forties, are just numbers that silently tells people “maturity” but honestly, I know some of us are still trying to figure out a lot of things about ourselves.

A month ago, I attended the Grand Alumni Homecoming from my high school. Imagine, after 10 years of not even trying to take a peak of what had happened to my Alma mater and unintentionally cutting most of my ties with my high school friends, a classmate invited me and the whole batch to attend the event as a mark of our 10 years anniversary. Ten freaking years had passed! Can you imagine that?

Anyway, I decided to attend, who wouldn't when almost half of my batch mates started sending friend requests. The hype was probably due to the incoming batch reunion.

I met old friends; learn a thing or two about the “famous” personalities in our batch that has become “unremarkable”, chat with those I didn't get the chance to be close when we were in high school, found out who finished college, had a great career and those who got married right after high school.

The gossips are funny yet irritating at the same time. And when I got home, I started remembering my HS life. During those times I remember setting some goals; 1. To enter a great university, 2. To finish college and 3. Get a job.

I did all those things gracefully, and that was when I realized, everyone is expected to enter college, finish a degree and have a career right after high school. What comes next is the real challenge.

After those four long years of college (in my case it took me five years because I took engineering first then transferred to IT) you landed on a good job, but are you satisfied? No, the reason is because you want to do more things which requires a lot of money, but being a fresh graduate who doesn't have a good working experience in your field means your salary can’t keep up with your lifestyle.

After a year, you got promoted, your pay check increases so does your workload. Now you got more money but no more time. This is where you will learn how to prioritize and how to manage your time.

I know what my priorities are, I want a flourishing career without sacrificing my social life. I learned how to managed my time balancing work, social life, family time and me time. But that is not the case, no matter how good you are at time management, something will suffer.

I don’t know what, I can’t put a name on it, I just realized that I missed out something ten years after graduating from high school.

One day I am a high school student dreaming of becoming a well behaved, well educated, well traveled, knowledgeable woman in her early twenties, the next thing I know, I’m 25, a few more steps at the peak of the corporate ladder but suddenly drops on a slump.

I felt tired, I want to drop everything and just party. I want a new environment like I am an author who’s having a major writers block that needs a new inspiration. Luckily, a former boss invite me to join her team. So I wrote a resignation letter and just drop everything.

New office, new challenge, a great team, an even greater pay check, a workable work load gives me some satisfaction. Everything goes smoothly until the summer I lost my job.

Then I am turning 27 (today is May 08 at exactly 12:04 midnight, a few more days before I turned 27) and I am freaking out. My Facebook account is field with “getting married”, “having babies” updates.

My friends are posting their weekend with their husband/wife and kids. Everyone seems to be celebrating anniversaries, and here I am, a twenty something, a little bit successful, lovely lady with some savings, boyfriend less and jobless.

Dear heavens, what is happening to me?

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Tuesday came, I had two appointment in two different companies in the same area. The Australian owned company and a European owned company.

The European owned company has a great office and receptionist’s with pleasing personalities, plus the employees looked really professionals, the interviewer wasn’t late, she looks confident, asks great questions and everything went smoothly.

The first half of the interview is getting to know the applicant and your work experience. Questions like why did you leave the company, your previous salary and benefits, etc. will pop. This is also the part where the interviewer gives the applicant summary about the company. The benefits one will receive once he/she becomes part of the team, she also showed me around the office. Their pantry area is superb, the offices/room/floor for each team is great (man, each cubicle is equipped with MAC and some even have gaming consoles, a few offices also has a large television set with surround system) they also had a playroom, in fact their office is like Google’s office in some parts of the world.

The second half is the serious part where I think I did my best, but maybe they are not that impressed, can’t blame them, I don’t have a background on the position I am applying though I know a little bit about it, and they need someone ASAP.

And so, I didn’t get the position, but if one day they opened one that is related to what I do, I will definitely apply again, I am so in love with their working environment. They also said they will call me if a position related to my job opened, I can’t wait for that to happen.

Next, is the Australian owned company. This one is another great catch if you ever got the chance to become a part of their team, their office here is just about right, but they have other offices in Australia, New York, somewhere in Europe and somewhere else I already forgot.

Their staff is well educated, the working environment in professional yet friendly. The interview is a breeze, I didn’t had a hard time, (conceited aren’t we?) maybe because the interviewer is friendly and that he knows what he’s saying, he knows what to ask, maybe we are on the same wavelength.

The interview goes all about the job. I was offered with something exciting and new but is still related to what I do. We didn’t talk about the compensation package, but I know they’ll give what I deserve base on my qualifications and the position I will handle if ever I got in. I can’t wait for their call since at the moment there are other applicants lining up, I hope I got in.

Monday came and I have an appointment with this US based company. It was a hot morning; I had my power suit on, my best shoes, my laptop and my resume. Imagine how much sweat I had that summer morning, I wasn’t late, in fact I was an hour early, but it’s a Monday, every employee seems to be in a rush though it’s still very early.

The building is great, in fact, it was newly built with a nice flowery scent, but I was disappointed when I reached the floor where the company is located, the reception area sucks. The interviewer is late, and when she did come, I was even more disappointed, her questions are the most basic questions I have heard my entire job hunting history and there was a written exam!

For someone who started as an OJT student who then became a proper part of the team when she graduated. Then a year later transferred to an international company and was pirated by one of the most promising company in the industry, I didn't expect this is how it goes, I wasn't applying as a call center (no offense, when I was a fresh graduate I tried applying to a call center and this is how it goes).

When the exam is finished they asked me to wait again (I hate waiting its unproductive), thirty minutes passed, to think there are only three applicants, they called me only to say a call was waiting for me from the head of the team I am applying. You know what the other line said?

What the FUCK!!! You made me wait for half an hour for that. I wasted half my day for that. Assess my qualifications or are my asking salary too high? (I always base my asking salary from what they posted on the employment website, they posted thirty to fifty monthly, I asked in between, and that it’s still negotiable)

Honestly, I know I had a chance. The other applicants seem to not know what they are doing in that area. It’s just that I am too qualified (and too conceited in answering the HR representative's questions, maybe she got annoyed at me, well she came 10 am, the start of office hours are at 8 am, the heck’s with that?) and maybe my asking salary is too high for them I guess.

I just said okay and hang up. I was too irritated and starved at this point there is nothing else I can say. I swore not to return to that company again, it’s very unprofessional, plus telling an applicant that aside from the manager there is no other person who can conduct the interview is stupid, what does this mean? That the manager is the only knowledgeable person in the team? What about the team leader, assistant heads? They are a large company, it’s unbelievable.

I stormed out of their office and went to the nearest mall to grab my late lunch. I swore to review the next company thoroughly.

I lost my job the start of summer. After the holy week season ended, I decided to take a few more weeks of break, let myself breath, think things over, pray.

I felt like I was in the wrong road, I still do, sometimes. Like I was taking the wrong path or made the wrong turn somewhere, I need to take a few deep breaths, do things I want to do, but then again, what do I really want to do? It’s like I am experiencing a midlife crisis, heaven forbid, I’m only on my mid twenteens, but that’s what I actually feel.

Anyway, with my head still not set on what I really wanted, I started to get back on track. The first thing I did is update my profile.

Personal bio doesn’t need updating, contact information still the same, work experience needs to be updated and oh, include another acquired skill.

Then, since my resume is in word format, I need to have another copy in PDF since some companies want a PDF instead of word document format. All set? Upload your file in employment websites and make sure your online profile is also updated.

The following days after I updated my online profile I receive a few calls, some from the industries big names, some startup companies (they say) some unknown to me companies, BPO companies etc. From all the calls and emails I receive I choose five companies to answer and set a job interview.

Let’s start with the big names.

I receive a call from one of the country’s biggest television network. I still remember the day I answered that call, I was taking a bath wet and soapy when my mom told me an unknown number is calling. I decided to answer the call and surprise!, some Aimee from this television network is telling me she saw my profile on an employment site and that I am qualified for a newly opened position in her team and that she is inviting me for a job interview.

Imagine my surprise, It didn’t cross my mind to apply for any kind of position in that network because I know I still lack something, but there was Aimee telling me I am qualified. When I checked my email and saw what she sent, I was tongue tied, super excited while typing my reply.

Next is a US based company whose offices are all over the world. I did apply for the position they posted on an employment website. The reasons are simple, I didn’t need to travel too far and I know the business district too well there won’t be a chance I’ll get lost. There was a good compensation package and lastly, they are industry leaders, meaning, there are many experts where you can learn a thing or two, a fat chance to step up the ladder, get promoted and be sent to another office in another country (hopefully).

Lastly, an Australian owned company. They offer a good compensation package, a flexible time, a smart team, a good working environment and I love their office location, and they offered me a challenging position.

Here’s how it goes.

I know it is going to happen eventually. I can feel it, I saw some signs and yet I didn’t do anything to prevent it.

Okay, first things first, I was a part of a freelance team that provides digital marketing services locally and internationally. The first few months gave all of us a headache but eventually we get the hang of things and everything goes smoothly, after we celebrated our first year things changed.

We didn’t get anymore projects despite our efforts and the good reputation of our company plus the referrals of our clients. When we do close a project, it was just a small one-time type of service. Its bothering all of us, we do have ongoing projects but its just good enough to support the current financial need of the team. I mean if we don’t increase the number of our clients when will we be able to have an office? How can we increase the salary and give additional benefits to our staff and ours, when can we get more people to support the team?

It was after the holy week season. We had a team meeting and over pizzas and pastas one of my teammate drop the bomb. HH, went abroad to work without properly telling us, I’d go ballistic, seriously, but I am a calm person, smile, think over and over before you talk, especially in this kind of situations. So okay, what’s gone is gone, I can feel there is more to it.

Another bomb dropped, MG is getting married, she needs more funds, and she got an offer she cannot refuse. Who am I to prevent her from expanding her horizons?

Therefore, at that lunch table over pasta and pizza, a decision is made; we are splitting for now. I cant manage the company, I don’t have the confidence MG has when dealing with prospective clients, at present I don’t have the strength and qualifications needed to lead the team. Maybe in time we’ll get back on that table and over pizza and pasta we’ll talk about getting the team back on its feet again.

And that is how I lost my job that summer.

Just to make things crystal clear, I don't feel bitter about the things that is happening, just a little bit sad, we've been together as a team for years even before we decided to have our own company. Oh well, our times together maybe cut short since we'll definitely be a part of different companies again, but we're still gonna catch up on each other one way or another.